Imposter Syndrome - The Secret Battle
Source: zoho.com
“Once they realise I am not the star performer they think I am, they will fire me!”
If you have ever had similar thoughts, or are waiting to get ‘caught faking it’, read on dear reader. Today, let’s discuss the feeling of being the pretender in the room - the IMPOSTER SYNDROME
The syndrome
In simple words it is the feeling of ‘not being as good as others think’ – aka the imposter or pretender, or the ‘faking it’ kind. Most people usually chalk it down to low self-esteem or lack of confidence. The self-doubt is more common than anyone would imagine amongst entrepreneurs and top level executives. Only no one talks about it!
Telling signs
This syndrome was common to quite a few of the clients I worked with. It was something we both discovered as we worked on something else entirely. So as we move forward, let’s see how many of these factors you identify with –
- Think people will find out you are not as good as they think you are
- Feel you don’t deserve the success, or promotion or increment
- Have difficulty accepting compliments or credit for work well done
- Lack confidence even though you know, and are good at what you do
- Think you have been mostly lucky (even though you work hard)
- Keep waiting for your ‘streak’ to end
- Feel you will get caught faking it!
source: verywellhealth.com
The consequences
This feeling of constant insecurity manifests itself in many ways. The most common being overthinking, over preparing and reluctance to try new things. While over preparing can be beneficial when trying to grow the business, or seek funding, the other consequences can actually have a counterproductive effect like –
- Constant stress and anxiety – the impending sense of doom, the perpetual waiting to get caught. Physically this typically manifests itself as stomach churn or knots. This could have health implications like irritable bowel syndrome too and nervous twitches.
- Decreased effectiveness and feelings of isolation – the constant wait for doomsday and life to end means one spends more time thinking up worst case scenarios vs. productive work. This also manifests itself in wanting to keep to oneself in case anyone else catches on. This could lead to paranoia, depression and actually believing ones negative thoughts to be true!
- Reluctance to try new things – people tend to stick to what they know works. Also, trying out new things entails trying and failing before succeeding. The process feels like it will expose the achiever to be a fraud. As a result most people end up self-sabotaging themselves and their work to avoid getting caught.
Source: thedataincubator.com
What can people do –
I will not tell people to keep calm and carry on. Instead this is something to be addressed. The anxiety is a combination of feeling ‘physically unsafe’ and ‘emotionally vulnerable’. The entrepreneurs or professionals needs to convince themselves at both levels that they are not imposters. There are some simple steps I use in my sessions.
1. Make a list of what makes you qualified for the job – this includes qualifications, experience, unique personality traits that make you suitable for the job and set you apart from others. You could even try looking up the internet for people with your unique set of qualifiers. You will realise that you are indeed one in a few thousand at least!
2. List accomplishments – make a list of all the awards you have won, appreciation e-mails from clients, funders, even school teachers and certificates from that time. You can store these as a folder on your system, or keep a journal. Essentially anywhere you can revisit them and own your success!
3. Make realistic goals – while everyone wants to be a Unicorn, or the next Steve Jobs, understand that not everyone will. Not making it to the page of a magazine cover does not make anyone less successful. You need to define your own parameters of success which are realistic, achievable and tangible. It is great to aim big, but do it in small steps vs. giant leaps.
4. Avoid the Jones’s - stop looking at peoples perfect lives on social media and networks. No one puts up stories of their failures or struggles (unless seeking attention). We end up comparing our worst selves to peoples’ best – not fair is it?
To sum it up –
It is natural for all of us to feel we are not as good as people think we are. The roots of it could lie in various factors and conditioning. These feelings are also not perpetual or constantly in the foreground. These have triggers. It is important to look out for those. However, what is more important is to learn to deal with these lest they become self-fulfilling prophesies. So the next time you feel like an imposter, look at your list of qualifications and accomplishments and how far you have come. Once you do, the knot in the stomach should dissolve and will hopefully relax those shoulders and bring a real smile to your face – not a fake one.
